Intro

My name is Anna, Im 25 years old. Just to get a general idea about me if you don’t know who I am, I was born and raised in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, where I lived for 11 years before immigrating to Utah with my very religious, righteous family. I am the youngest of 6 amazing women and was raised by two of the most wonderful parents I could have possibly ever asked for. After moving here I sort of lost the brazilian in me, as if it never were… most of my family has now gone back to Brazil but this is now what I call home. Im currently a student, just graduated with my associates in Medical Sciences and am now persuing my bachelors in Toxicology (im gonna study drugs…haha who would have thought?) , this will eventually lead me into med school… and eventually into Cardiology, which is my long term goal. I have never been anything like my family and for a lot of people it is hard to take in (by a lot of people I mean mostly my family). The youngest of 6, I had a very high bar set for me at a very young age. All my sisters were righteous, extremely religious and very family oriented. As for me.. Haha. At a young age I chose the party life for myself…as years went I chose friends over family, and bars over church. This was my own personal choice and never influenced by others, though being a people pleaser dragged me to things a little more extreme than I would have personally chosen for myself. This led me to a lot of anguish due to the fact that the people I loved most didn’t know me at all, and what they did know, wasn‘t the real me. I have struggled and probably always will with the whole religious thing… That was the past, this is now, I don’t go to bars anymore, but I still don’t go to church…I chose both family and Friends and having a balanced life has been good to me, I love God and have my own personal ideas of spiritualism, and understand I will never please everyone, so instead I focus on ME.


Everyone has their own idea of who I “trully” am and who they want me to be. Mostly the people that have been the closest to me, and love me most. Its interesting being on my side of things and seeing how many different “ideal Anna’s” people can come up with. What they trully don’t know is that I already am 100% who I need to be, on my way to who I will continue to be just with much more knowledge! This brings me peace, and while I think I will always have doubts about their ideas of happiness fitting into my life, deep down inside I already know where my heart is… and Its happy to be there.

I am a thinker. I have a whole lot of thoughts I couldn’t dream of putting into words. While the world around me is moving I am staring blankly into a fast paced life and I think so much that I forget to live. As much as I have tried to stop this pesky habbit it seems it isn’t really going anywhere so instead I learn to embrace it and just deal. A daydreamer since I can remember breathing I always imagine things happening that are completely absurd… if someone was in my head for 3 seconds they would probably admit me. And maybe everyone is like that to a point., Either way its not being put into words.

Because of all this thinking plus a guilty conscience provided by my mother, I have never had kids, gone sky diving, gotten married, or done anything remotely stupid… which aren’t all necessarily things ive wanted to do, but you get the point. Ive always been safe… even when I was stupid. Thanks mom! Instead I turned to food.

Most people struggle with weight at some point in their lives . Ever since I was little food was used to celebrate, weather it was family time or parties… food food food. While my mother certainly did think she was feeding us a healthy diet, I proceeded to tell her that lasagna, rice and potato salad was not a balanced Sunday meal… 3 carbs? The entire plate is beige… anyway so this is how I was raised… carbs,carbs,carbs. All my life has been up and down weight wise. When I was little I was too skinny, shortly after puberty hit and we purchased our first microwave (yes we were old school) the weight started piling on. Much of my early teen years were hell, I was chunky, and dorky, and not really cool at all. Its funny how important that is when you are younger, I took a downhill slope into depression which eventually became normal. It was during that time I also met my soul mate, just as awkward but slightly cooler than me, she became my best friend. If you ever want to meet someone who knows me better than myself, she would be the one, and If it weren’t for her I have no idea where I would have ended up today.

Times got better and times got worse, as part of life you have your ups and downs and that seems to be the exitement of a mundane existence. Here I am today, starting my first blog. To be honest I always made fun of people with blogs. While im the girl that

updates her face book status way too many times throughout the day I felt like a blog was like a personal diary you wanted people to read to show off whatever was going on in your life (wait.. isn’t that what I was doing on facebook?).. And I guess it is… and I guess I am doing it now so go me, I have conformed.

The real purpose of this is more so for the changes im about to occur in my life. For the steps im taking to become a better person. Maturity, spirituality and of course my steps to a healthier me. it’s a therapeutic form of release for me (my psychologist thinks I need to let it out more…) and some form of update for the people in my life who care to know what is going on. Either way, Enjoy…