Its 3am. Ive been trying to get on a better sleep schedule but unfortunately my brain disagrees with that idea, especially when coencidently i slept WAY in today. Im watching netflix, im so glad digis finally fixed my internet so I can watch my movies again. Lets talk about surgery for a bit. I am doing fantastic. Its been almost 3 weeks now and I am almost back to normal. The glue on my incisions is slowly coming off (ok i may or may not be pushing that along..oops) and im starting to heal. I can move normal again and I can eat pretty much anything I want without being sick. I have lost 23 lbs since surgery and none of that is from this week. I was panicking for a minute because of this stall but was assured by my lovely nurse that this is normal. Apparently its my body freaking out because of all the changes... (hurry it up I want to be skinny). My biggest worry which was the mental part of this decision has been laid to rest. I am handling this emotionally exeptionally well, I amaze myself with my own strength sometimes. I do not regret surgery, have not regreted it at all and don't believe I ever will. Being able to eat anything I want at this point is where my self control has to come in. I am sticking to 3 meals a day and packing as much protein as possible, and of course now and then i will reward myself, like when I ate a quesadilla...and NO I will not feel guilty for not beating myself up over that, instead I will work it out. I have been using my treadmill quite a bit, as well as doing some strength training, im not supposed to fully work out for 6 weeks but for some weird reason I have way too much energy to burn. Last week I walked 5 miles with Katie through the Canyon and I never felt better, Katie I wish you were still here to walk with me... (My dear friend is currently now serving our country, I love you!). I have made it a point to walk at least once a day or jog/run, whatever I feel up to doing. This has helped me feel really happy lately. Protein is really hard to intake when you think of how much you have to intake, 100g is not fun when you can only eat 4oz in one sitting! Im still amazed that I can eat a pudding cup and be full, Its actually really nice, I have become quite the cheap date :). If any of you have any ideas for protein intake that does not involve shakes, please share! So now my only struggle is my almost healed pain in the butt wounds and my intake of water...i do miss chugging water, sips sometimes just doesnt cut it. Everything else is great, I even went to the sand dunes last weekend and had a great time. The changes I have been making in my life are slowly rewarding me every single day in so many different ways. Quitting all of my bad habits has set me free, I can't describe what a liberating feeling it is to know that I don't fall into a stereotype anymore. I feel healthy. I have read a lot and meditated a lot recently to find a spiritual side of me that I usually drown out because of all my chaos. Its been an intense journey. Its been a great journey. I can't wait for the rest of my life. I've never been more sure of who I am.
You look beautiful! :-)
ReplyDelete