Stall?

UGH. After a much dreaded stall I am happy to say I have lost 5 lbs....since wednesday! Anyway I have been eating slightly bad lately. I feel like having less stress in my life might be the reason why I am losing again. I wanna talk about protein intake. I had a doctors appointment on thursday and found out I have NOT been eating enough...mostly enough protein (probably why i stalled). I was intaking about 600-700 callories a day and around 60g of protein. Apparently im supposed to be at 800-1200 callories and 100g of protein. HOW in the world is this possible? especially in 3 meals? I have a hard time eating 150 callories per meal on my half a lean cusine meal without being completly stuffed. Please if any of you have suggestions for me, I would love to hear your ideas. Meanwhile I will be eating about 5 times a day. My biggest issue I have been dealing with recently is my water intake. It has become quite the tedious task to remember when I can and cannot drink water. I also have a hard time with anything that isnt ice cold (liquids) which makes it harder to drink as well being that its not as convenient. Ever since surgery tap water also makes me nauseous, I have issues. Total weight loss is almost 30 lbs now. I am honestly feeling so much better! The best part I think is having my headaches be mostly gone. I have only had about 4 episodes since surgery which is fantastic compared to every day. My blood sugar has also gone down a significant ammount.
    I have recently purchased a roll on vitamin E oil for my scars and in 3 days I can already tell its working. I would also love to hear any input on what to do to minimize them. They are pretty small but I feel like when I shrink they might seem bigger so I am doing what I can now. I can't believe its already been a month, The month of september has been amazing and crazy in so many ways. I cannot wait for halloween and the year end holidays. I am currently trying to convince my parents that we should spend Christmas with one of the sisters, I would not want to spend it just us 3, It would be so depressing! Sometimes I miss having everyone in my family so close. I am thinking I might be ready to start working again. Mostly because I want to save up for a Piano, even though I have no idea where I would put it. I am ready to start playing again, Its been on my mind a lot lately. six weeks post op is coming soon and working and working out might be in the near future if I continue to do this good! this saturday we had the suicide prevention walk which was fantastic. I got good exercise and got to spend the day with people I love while supporting such a great cause. During that same week Ryan was able to raise 800 dollars for the Trevor Project (also a suicide prevention funding program), I am so proud of him! It felt so good to have the energy to keep walking... Pretty soon I hope to be running! Whoever said the hungry hormones would be gone after surgery lied to me. I still totally feel hungry, usually only before eating time which is normal I guess. I wish I didnt feel so incredibly full after 5 oz, It would be nice if I still had phases... (i.e. satisfied-full-too full-stuffed-im going to blow) but no... I skip all of those and go straight to stuffed which means for a half hour after I eat im usually wanting to die a little. Its quite possible this is happening only when I eat faster than I should but I feel like a half hour is way too long for half a cup of pudding :\. My boyfriend cooked me dinner the other day and by the time he had finished his seconds I was still not even a third of the way done with my chicken... let alone touched the rest of the food, This new tummy requires a lot of patience. Poor guy, I think he thought I didn't like it... (first time I have eaten around him other than random snacks). Anyone else have a problem with patience? Anyway I have to meet with my nutritionist in 2 weeks and I am excited for new ideas and ways to improve my current situations so I will continue to update. <3 Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

Just what I needed...

Carson and I headed up to his cabin for the day and we rode the fourwheelers all day long... It was just what i needed to balance myself! I am keeping this blog short... but posting some pictures. I can't believe how much energy i have from what i've lost so far... PS my pants no longer fit... at all... I need new pants stat. and on a side note, My tummy does NOT enjoy going a whole day with just yogurt... I came home from the cabin and my acid reflux is punishing me!

Normality.

My last nasty dermabond (what they used instead of stiches) finally came out of me today... or I should say I pulled it out... oops. and now im Itchy... Itchy means healing so we are good to go! Speaking of going, haha, the changes in your "ammount of bathroom visits" are quite interesting after surgery... I feel like I pee all day long.... ah! I am so happy to be back to normal, eating what I want... well ok eating a little of what i want... and im still having a hard time with the eyes bigger than mouth ordeal... until im explodingly full that is. I have decided to stop obsessing over my weight and weighin in every day... its goota be unhealthy, therefore I haven't weighed myself all week in hopes i have one big surprise at the end of the week, or who knows? I have returned to normal life and I think im going to start working again here in the next few weeks, Yes I am still employed by verizon, lord knows how that happened after all these months. I at least need to work for a few weeks to make enough money to buy myself a wardrobe... My clothes are getting bigger and soon I will have to wrap sheets around me due to lack of clothing. this is a good thing! Hardest thing for me? IBUPROFEN... i can't take it anymore and I think I was addicted to it... as retarded as it may sound it was like my daily savior from my headaches and now i cant take it. Tylenol sucks and I hope it dies. I just started taking a crap load of these green phyto-food vitamins, they make your poo neon green, TMI i know... but its kind of entertaining. these are supposed to be packed full of blue algae which apparently packs protein. I am waiting to turn into a big buff man since I am consuming something like 100g of protein daily right now... that is so much!!! maybe I need to take it down a notch... I think im becoming obsessive. Its been a really rough week for me, one of my old friends passed away from a drug overdose. Its really sad to still be watching old friends die... I feel like ive had enough! Nic passed away on monday due to a heroin overdose, RIP! The funeral is tomorrow and I hope I handle it well, I feel like maybe im already numb to all of this death stuff... To make things a little better Im going up to Carson's cabin with him and his family on saturday for a much needed get away, and some four wheeling through the really pretty fall mountains, I am really in need to get in touch with nature, its been a while! I will deffinately post some pictures when I come back down. This will be my first time eating away from home since surgery (other than my visit to dennys) so I am a little nervous.... Im sure It will be fine.  I am also back on all of my medications that i quit for surgery, such as my diamox (for my intracranial hypertension), my birth control and all of my vitamins, Its really really nice to be functioning normally again!!!! The only thing I need is to finally unpack my room and decorate, instal tv in my room (Yes i havent watched tv other than movies on netflix in over a month, this is weird for me) and being able to take baths again when my incisions fully heal... man i miss taking baths! am i weird? Anyway I will update soon with some more pictures from this weekend, until then I hope you all have a good week :)

09/10/2010

Its 3am. Ive been trying to get on a better sleep schedule but unfortunately my brain disagrees with that idea, especially when coencidently i slept WAY in today. Im watching netflix, im so glad digis finally fixed my internet so I can watch my movies again. Lets talk about surgery for a bit. I am doing fantastic. Its been almost 3 weeks now and I am almost back to normal. The glue on my incisions is slowly coming off (ok i may or may not be pushing that along..oops) and im starting to heal. I can move normal again and I can eat pretty much anything I want without being sick. I have lost 23 lbs since surgery and none of that is from this week. I was panicking for a minute because of this stall but was assured by my lovely nurse that this is normal. Apparently its my body freaking out because of all the changes... (hurry it up I want to be skinny). My biggest worry which was the mental part of this decision has been laid to rest. I am handling this emotionally exeptionally well, I amaze myself with my own strength sometimes. I do not regret surgery, have not regreted it at all and don't believe I ever will. Being able to eat anything I want at this point is where my self control has to come in. I am sticking to 3 meals a day and packing as much protein as possible, and of course now and then i will reward myself, like when I ate a quesadilla...and NO I will not feel guilty for not beating myself up over that, instead I will work it out. I have been using my treadmill quite a bit, as well as doing some strength training, im not supposed to fully work out for 6 weeks but for some weird reason I have way too much energy to burn. Last week I walked 5 miles with Katie through the Canyon and I never felt better, Katie I wish you were still here to walk with me... (My dear friend is currently now serving our country, I love you!). I have made it a point to walk at least once a day or jog/run, whatever I feel up to doing. This has helped me feel really happy lately. Protein is really hard to intake when you think of how much you have to intake, 100g is not fun when you can only eat 4oz in one sitting! Im still amazed that I can eat a pudding cup and be full, Its actually really nice, I have become quite the cheap date :). If any of you have any ideas for protein intake that does not involve shakes, please share! So now my only struggle is my almost healed pain in the butt wounds and my intake of water...i do miss chugging water, sips sometimes just doesnt cut it. Everything else is great, I even went to the sand dunes last weekend and had a great time. The changes I have been making in my life are slowly rewarding me every single day in so many different ways. Quitting all of my bad habits has set me free, I can't describe what a liberating feeling it is to know that I don't fall into a stereotype anymore. I feel healthy. I have read a lot and meditated a lot recently to find a spiritual side of me that I usually drown out because of all my chaos. Its been an intense journey. Its been a great journey. I can't wait for the rest of my life. I've never been more sure of who I am.

Overdue

First and foremost, I appologize it took me so long to do an update after the surgery... Yes i was up for it but honestly couldnt find the words in my cluttered mind to actually sit down and write anything that made sense. For those of you that would like to know, surgery went well as expected. Life after surgery is still yet to be discovered but from what I know so far this really is the life changing experience most people tried to warn me about, and yes sometimes it sucks...Usually when i get a craving for a big juicy cheeseburger and I cant have one... or solid food for that matter haha. Today I believe is day 10 since my surgery, which happened on the 23rd.  I did have some complications with my blood pressure going up during surgery and now my heart rate is permanently elevated but Im hoping this will all calm down soon.. They thought I had a leak so I actually stayed in the hospital for 3 days instead of just one which was not so pleasant...and now I am doing better than most people (according to my doctor). Within day 5 I was already at a party enjoying my night. I can't handle bed rest when I dont want to be locked away from the world so I made sure to push myself really quick to heal. I drove myself to my post op apt which is an hour away and shocked the nurse who said I should still be complaining about pain. I stopped taking my pain meds within that time as well. My biggest complaint right now is that I cant sleep on my stomach yet and my back aches more and more every day from my weird sleeping... ;( I miss having good sleep. Im having a hard time eating protein... I hate protein shakes, I hate anything liquid, I already switched to mashed foods... bad Anna. I ate squash today, for lunch and dinner and it was quite tasty, my tummy likes squash, and hates cheese soup from zupas lol (ouch). I experienced my first stomach ache yesterday when I ate soup too fast, I thought I wanted to die. All bad things aside I am happy I did it anyway, as hard as it may be, watching 23 lbs come off in one week is well worth it and as someone I dont remember once said, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Its true. I found out my soft gel vitamins are very well tolerated by my tummy which makes me happy :). Yesterday I was feeling pretty crummy after getting sick from soup, and a few people asked if i was okay since I looked yellow, Yellow? that freaked me out but apparently im back to normal today. I started taking my vitamins and will be doing anything I can do up my protein, I can start eating eggs in a few days and I am so so excited!!!! I have been dreaming of eggs and avocado for days now. My incisions are starting to heal and the one where they pulled my fat tummy out of hurts like hell still to today. The nurse said this was normal since it was the one where most of the work was done. It is getting better, but sometimes I move and it hurts just like the day after surgery.. I hope im going to get over this soon. Overall I am really happy with my life, Things seem to be going in the right direction and my goals are finally coming together. I have some amazing friends and family that have been giving me so much love and support I never imagined I could have! So there it is, my journey starts now!