their taking all my organs!

So many things happened this week! first off lets catch up...Remember all those emotional bipolar mood swings I was having? I was in the middle of one Sunday when I had a very sudden takemybreathaway sort of pain on my upper abdomen. First thought in my mind was A. I am having a heart attack, B. I just tore my stomach open somehow..(yes the pain was really that bad.) After going back into my room and crying my eyes out due to anxiety, stress and now a sharp pain I made the decision to go to the ER and make sure I was alright. I should have already known something this stupid would have happened....I had an idiot Doctor, what else should I have expected at Utah valley hospital? Good doctors?? never! anyway so as I usually have to do when i see those doctors i proceded to tell him what tests I should have done since he was just trying to treat me for an anxiety attack (moron). During the time he did an ultrasound of my upper abs the extremely nice ultrasound tech asked me about my last meal.... and I proceeded to tell him that I had only eaten one bite of food roughly 10 hours prior due to feeling quite nauseous and slightly crazy. His response was "huh...thats weird" and said nothing else. Even though I understand he isnt supposed to diagnose me I eventually got him to tell me that my gallbladder was contracted, and that he saw some stones. We discussed that this contraction only happens after a big meal and that it was weird that this was not my case at all. Later the doctor we will call Dr. Moron came into the room and proceeded to talk about this same thing. He insisted that i was lying to him about the last time I ate because it was not possible.... he then told me that my nervous breakdown was all in my head and it could never relate to my stomach, once again said i had anxiety and sent me home. I was not happy about this at all but did just as I was told... took the meds and passed out. The next morning I woke up feeling worst than ever.. between the incredible urge to kill everyone and the nausea, stomach pains and acid reflux I knew something was wrong and I was pretty determined to find out. Most people that know me well know that I study so much about the human body I probably know more than half those idiots in that hospital... so once again I went back to the hospital in hopes of someone who would listen. This doctor was still an idiot... BUT he was nice, caring and willing to listen to my theories and not just send me home. His first idea was a cat scan to check my stomach. (worthless because you cannot see gallbladders through cat scans enough to tell what is going on.) but he felt it was necessary so we did it anyway. He tells me I have an infection located roughly where my pain was, which then led him to assume he figured it out... and tried to send me home again! I cried. I cried out of frustration. I asked him to do another ultrasound.... and needless to say 10 minutes later I was admited for emergency surgery on my now very inflamed gallbladder. Thanks for nothing doctors...  Turns out after while doing some research... I came to find out one of the first symptoms of gallbladder infection/stones is anger, mood swings, anxiety and panic attacks... and I found SEVERAL articles about it... yet neither one of the doctors knew this...did you get your degree from a cereal box?
These guys were going to open me up! how reassuring eh? Anyway about 10 hours later and many many doses of narcotics I was put under and my little worthless gallbladder was removed. Happy it was over but sad i had to recouperate again I woke up several hours later with nothing but love surrounding me :) and not knowing this week would turn into a nightmare. What was supposed to be a 1 day outpatient surgery slowly turned into a week.... a simple surgery slowly turned into 2 surgeries because of an infection.... and suddently I had liver failure and instead of treating me for it the stupid nurses kept putting catheters in me in hopes I just wasnt peeing due to the anasthetics/narcotics.... wow. It was way too much stupid for one week! I finally came home, after a miracle everything started working again. I felt so blessed. In so many ways. every single day I had multiple visits from quite a few people... and realized that I am incredibly blessed to have this much love in my life. So many caring words... Mallori brought me her blankie, which helped me get through the nights  (im still sleeping with it) and Carson tucked me in every night and put me to sleep.... I could not ask for a better best friend or a better boyfriend. Ive been home since yesterday and I am taking it one day at a time. I am still quite nauseous and food has become a task. Bedrest is honestly torture and I really miss the gym but I am being optimistic and hoping that I will conquer this too, just like I have everything else. I have been humbled by my experiences lately. I learned that I have a lot more love in my life than I ever thought. I am so grateful...for my family.. my friends.. my amazing boyfriend who amazes me more and more every single day because he keeps proving to me that I deserve someone that special who truly cares.
I hope to be out of this bed again soon and enjoying fall. Thanks for all the love and support!