Summertime and the living is easy ;)

Wow it has been SO LONG. Where do I even start? First of all, ITS SUMMER!!! now that we have that out of the way.. lets catch up a bit. 2011 has brought me so many gifts and life changes I don't even know how it all came about! from reading my last post, I see that i had mentioned Ernest. I am happy to say that Ernest and I are happier than ever and getting married July 9th. I moved in with him in April and we have been having way too much fun planning this beautiful wedding. I cannot wait! my wedding dress is stunning and I cannot wait to wear it in front of all my friends and family. I can't believe it is all happening in less than a month! My two sisters are flying in and Claudia will be back from her mission, I wish Tatiana and Luiza were coming but I understand it can be quite difficult in their current circumstances (luiza is having surgery and Tatiana just moved to a state where she has no one to watch her kids). Either way I am happy to have my family and my new family join us in this extremly special date. I have been having so much fun living here and playing house. haha. Yes I cook every day and do laundry and clean and take care of his boys. I am trully happy. I am currently going to UVU officially enrolled in Pre-med and my major is Biochemistry. Seems quite complex but I am in love with what I do. Even if I despise summer school. I have recently found out I am Pregnant! yes... the girl who was told she would never have kids...is having a baby :) I am currently almost 15 weeks along and very healthy! i have had 2 ultrasounds and both showed an extremly healthy active baby, with a heart beat of 177 beats per minute! I will find out the gender in the next few weeks :). Ernest and I are really happy about this baby even if it was not planned, we are excited to start our lives together with this little one and continue to be a happy family. Ernest is doing quite well at his tattoo shop in Provo (he owns Death or Glory tattoo) and we have several possible plans for the remainder of this year that I will try to keep you all updated on. Im sorry I have slacked so much on blogging but as you can see I have been quite the busy girl! Between school and the kids I am quite often always busy. Needless to say my weight loss will come to a stop at this point seeing as you should gain when you are pregnant. I have lost a total of 90 lbs since surgery and have not gained an ounce since being pregnant. I am extremly happy with my current size and with the fact that my doctor said I should lose even more after the pregnancy. Ernest and I are so happy! For a wedding present, my daddy bought us a king size tempurpedic and a large bbqer. I love them both! he has helped me tremendously. I love my parents. Ernest's mother came to visit for a few weeks and we had a blast. I love her too. they took the kids back to California for the summer so Ernest and I can have a little alone time before the wedding, it has been wonderful though I rreally miss the children.
I will leave you with some pictures and will try to send  more updates soon!

Its about that time

Wow it really has felt like forever since I have last blogged... I feel like this blog becomes less interesting as my weight loss slowly is just becoming a part of my life and not really as exciting as it used to be. I have now lost 80 lbs and I am feeling like a new woman! Its amazing what a difference 80 lbs can make in every aspect of life. First update, I have never been happier! I think the reason I have gone so long without blogging is because I spend every waking moment with my new someone. Yes i am in love. Who even thought I would ever say such a thing? I can honestly say I am not a love type of person but when it happens to you, you just sit back and enjoy it because it isn't going to stop. I met Ernest a few days after leaving Carson.. (no it wasn't a rebound) and instantly felt something different. It wasn't quite in a romantic way to be honest, more so in a I want to be your friend and get to you know you ordeal. I made a pact with myself to be single for 2011 and wasn't at all wanting to meet anyone. but we went to wendover together for a mutual friends birthday and on the way home he made it a point to sit by me.. and while everyone slept at 4 am we talked... and talked... and talked some more.. the next few times we hung out we did the same thing.. talked and talked. one time we honestly talked until the sun came up... and not once did he make a move or even try to kiss me. So of course things started taking a turn in a different direction and since then i haven't spent a day away from him. I have never felt anything like this for another person on this earth. I thought I had been in love before and boy was I wrong. He genuinely is the first person I wouldn't change a thing about, well maybe I would get rid of his fan club of women... seriously i have to fight them off..lol. So about Ernest... He first of all is amazing. Treats me like a princess...he has 3 kids, they are 12,13,14 and are all the loves of his life. He has half custody of his two younger boys. He owns Death or Glory tattoo in provo where he is also an amazing tattoo artist. (my family is trying to get used to the fact that im dating a tattoo artist lol). He builds cars as a hobbie and was born in california.. and I swear within the short time we have been together I know more about him than I ever did any guy i dated :). He just bought me a puppy, shes a mini Dashchaund and she is cream colored, tiny little girl full of wrinkles... we named her Beatrice :) I will post pictures of her as soon as I can, she is still being put on solid foods for another few days so we actually haven't been able to bring her home yet. Life is so good! I started school again and now im at UVU while shaddowing to renew my CNA/MA from Steven's Henager at night... any other time is spent with my love. I didn't know it was possible to be this happy with my life, I am so at peace and so stress free. I feel like this should be illegal!
I am going to Brazil with my parents and Ernest hopefully in April if i can get all my paperwork finished in time and I am really looking forward to this, especially because I get to take Ernest.
Weight loss is going great, I have been eating like crazy lately because someone spoils me and takes me to dinner like almost every night but I am still losing... slowly but surely! pretty soon I will not have any clothes left lol. Maybe I need a garage sale!
anyway I have to shower and go to school but I will update more later! hope everyone is doing well!

Im seeing changes

Its insane how one day your life is going one way and the next your whole world turns around. last week I randomely decided last minute to take a trip to california. It was honestly the best vacation of my life. Randi and myself left last tuesday and didnt stop for one second... between the beach and disneyland, vegas and shopping we barely had time to sit. I spent new years looking at the ocean... and I couldn't have asked for better clarity of my life and where its going. I am happy to announce that for the first time in my life I was able to make hard decisions reguardless of how they would make anyone else feel. First things first, I quit my job that i hated, I broke up with Carson, because as much as I love him as a person I am not in love with him and I need to enjoy my life right now and find that someone who takes my breath away. I also started being healthy again and have decided that this year I am focusing on myself. Within 5 days of the year I already feel like a brand new person! Though its sad to miss Carson because I do care about him, I hope that we can still be friends and that he doesn't hold resentment for my decision, it had to be made. I have never been happier about a new start. I am in such a great place in my life right now. I hope you all had a wonderful new year! I am slowly learning to be this new person that I am absolutely in love with. its insane how losing 70 lbs changes your personality as well as your physical appearance. Confidence does make a huge difference in your every day life, mostly in making decisions keeping in mind how they will benefit/hurt you in the long run. I am able to separate that and make sure that I am doing things for myself. I will still fall, but I am happy to know that I am stronger than ever to get back up! I am also not giving up on love, Its out there somewhere, and if it don't find it, I will be sure and make up for it by living it up. School starts this month, I am so happy!

Almost over

So here we are, at the very end of a year that felt like a life time. To most people I hear it went by quite fast, to me It felt never ending. While I had the most intense year of my 25 years of life I am incredibly grateful for being given a new chance at life, a new chance at a cure and a new chance at being happy. After being diagnosed with IIH in june of this year my entire world changed. Having surgery to stabilize my weight and keep me from gaining in order to try and cure the IIH changed it even further. While I hate my IIH I am so very grateful for my sleeve gastrectomy and what it has done for my life. I am looking forward to 2011 and the new me, the healthier me, and hopefully soon the IIH free me. I went from blinding migranes daily to now only once a week or so.. and if you can imagine the worst headache of your life everyday you would understand my gratitude! I am so Happy to start school back up again in january at UVU and hopefully be accepted into the U for summer semester. I am happy that I am able to do all of these things and have the energy and health to do so. I most deffinately need to make some decisions about life in this next coming month that can affect me for the rest of my life and I am hoping God will stand by me to make the right decision. This year I very spur of the moment decided to drive down to california and spend my new years on the beach with Randi. I couldn't possibly be happier about the company and the location. I hope this small getaway helps me make some rough decisions. I need to destress! Overall Id like to thank everyone who has supported me this year in such big changes, to my best friends who stood by me and understood what i was going through. I could not be any luckier with the friends I have been blessed with, and even more so with family. So here is to 2010, the amazing, the horrible, the terrifying, the trully unforgettable moments, the memories made, the friends made and lost, and most of all here is to SELF DISCOVERY, understanding and dreams. I love you all, and wish you all the best new year yet, I surely know this is my time to shine!
Love you all!

You have't seen the last of me

Feeling broken

Barely holding on

But there's just something so strong

Somewhere inside me

And I am down but I'll get up again

Don't count me out just yet



I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

You haven't seen the last of me

You haven't seen the last of me



They can say that

I won't stay around

But I'm gonna stand my ground

You're not gonna stop me

You don't know me

You don't know who I am

Don't count me out so fast



I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

You haven't seen the last of me


There will be no fade out

This is not the end

I'm down now

But i'll be standing tall again

Times are hard but

I was built tough

I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of



I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

I am far from over

You haven't seen the last of me



No no

I'm not going nowhere

I'm staying right here

Oh no

You won't see me begging

I'm not taking my bow

Can't stop me

It's not the end

You haven't seen the last of me

Oh no

You haven't seen the last of me

You haven't seen the last of me

Merry Christmas

Thank you's, achey achey's and upcoming construction.

I am so so grateful for my family and friends, especially around this time of the year when I feel the mushiest :). It has been a fantastic month for me, I hope i stays that way! I am so grateful for all the love and support i get, sometimes I wonder what I have done to deserve so many amazing people. I am humbled and grateful for all of you! As the end of the year approaches, I am feeling incredibly thankfull for all the experiences I had this year. Wow I cannot believe how fast it all happened. I plan on writing a post all about he memories of this year later this month, watch for it. On this post Id like to talk about some surgery related stuff! So as a lot of you know, I have now lost 59 lbs! It has been quite the journey and I am so very happy, that is a LOT to lose in 3 1/2 months! I am feeling completly normal, and even eating some sushi at the moment, so to have the best of both worlds has been an incredible blessing in my life... I owe my surgeon, he saved me! I have ran into quite a few problems during this time though, so it hasn't all been peachy. First we had the gallstones, then the throwing up every day... then the weakness... basically It was rough for quite some time, and now I feel like im reaching that point once again in a different area. While I have been very grateful that I haven't had any hair loss (i hope im not speaking too soon) I have been finding many new bones in my body, most of them because of the pain they are causing! I feel like all this restructuring that is happening is making my body angry.
     It all stared when I felt like I had an ear infection. Since I had just recently been to the doctor I kind of put it off for a week or so thinking maybe it would just dissapear. Since I have never had one before I thought this must be what it feels like since my ear aches, along with feeling like there is water in my ear because I can hear my voice echoing in my head when i talk, or breathe.. weird right? anyway I read a lot about natural medications so I was going to try what I knew was great for ear infections (garlic oil) but instead ended up at the doctor. After doing 3 different tests on me the doctor finally realized that I have TMJ... awesome! especially since I can't take anti infammatories. Oh yeah, that same day my carpal tunnel kicked up again, and later in the week I started having hip and knee pains again. My doctors have said that this is totally normal while I am losing weight fast, so why did no one tell me about this? Anyway, since I cannot take anti inflammatories I started studying, and reading everything I could to figure out how to make myself feel better, and I am happy to say that I have figured it out! So Id like to share it with all my sleeve friends, since I know many of you go through the same issues I do on this. I know a lot of people have doubts about oils, so make sure that the store you bought it from accepts returns if it doesn't work for you since those things can get pricey!
I started my search with a company called DoTerra, (doterra.com) and the first and only oil i purchased is called Pastence. Pastence is a very pure mixture of wintergreen, lavender, peppermint, frankinsence, cilantro, marjoram, Roman Chamomile, Basil and rosemary. This tingly oil sort of feels like icy hot and smells quite strong (i love the smell). This oil alone is made for aches and pains, headaches and tension. This oil alone did not do much for my TMJ and carpal tunnel, however did get rid of a pretty bad headache caused by tension. So I continued to do my homework. I kept running across Lemongrass. While a lot of websites talked about the aromatherapy of it, I found out that it is actually quite potent as an anti inflammatory. I went to my local natural store to take a look. while I was there I found another oil by wyndmere called aches and pains. This is also an oil blend containing clove, birch, rosemary, black pepper, coriander, cypress and marjoram. I bought this as well as the lemongrass paid about 15 bucks for the two, and 24 for the Pastence one. While the pastence can be directly applied (its a roll on) the other ones ask for a carrier oil. This means that they are too harsh for the skin to be used alone. I chose to purchase almond oil in a bigger bulk bottle (6 bucks) to mix it all in since almond oil is great for the skin and this was going on my face. I applied the pastence roll on, let it dry then mixed in about 10 drops of almond oil to 5 drops of each lemmongrass and aches and pains and applied all of that to my temples, my jaw line, my wrists and my hip. I am happy to announce that within 5 minutes my pain was mostly gone, within 10 minutes it was non existent. For someone who cannot take anti inflammatories, this was a great discovery! For all of us post op people, if you didn't know, unless directly told by your doctor, you should stay away from anti inflammatories as they are death onthe sleeve.
Please let me know if any of you have questions on this, I would love to help.
Things are great right now, I cannot wait for the holidays! I am soon celebrating 4 months of dating Carson, which is a huge thing for me... I am so happy! Also, I have hired a friend to design my blog for me since I am not so good at these things. She went to school for web design and currently works designing our states phone books! She is incredible at what she does and I am super stoked to see what she has been working on for me. As soon as she is done, I will post her information if any of you would like her services as well.
Stay tunned for a brand new blog!!!